At what time between now and the next Daylight savings will we forget that we’re “gaining” an hour that we “lost” now?
Careful, honey, it’s loaded,” he said, reentering the bedroom.
Her back rested against the headboard. “This for your wife?”
“No. Too chancy. I’m hiring a professional.”
“How about me?”
He smirked. “Cute. But who’d be dumb enough to hire a lady hit man?”
She wet her lips, sighting along the barrel.
"Bedtime Story", Jeffrey Whitmore (via arbryna)
i have a whole anthology of stories in 50 words or less, and this one’s in there!
I don’t always feel the way my photo portrays me
ur mom hands u a glass of orange juice. u take a sip. its not orange juice. its stirred egg yolks. u spit them all out. u ask ur mom why. she turns around. its not ur mom. its me. ur mom is gone. im ur mother now
these old spice commercials have been getting really crazy lately
Time for sandwiches.